Families and Love

Love is a serious issue and special care is needed to cultivate it and to keep it growing

What is Mature Love? Part 1

What is Mature Love

Crushes in our Younger Years

 

“What is mature love” is a journey of discovery at every cycle of your life. You never know how it will affect you and those around you. Love will teach you different things throughout your life. It will not always be joyful, but it will sometimes be magical, and it will often surprise you. You will have crushes in your early years!

 

 

 

Crushes in our Younger Years

 

 

Crushes in our younger years, meant that our first crush was probably on our father. Little boys had crushes as well, and their first crush was probably on their mother. Some children develop crushes on older siblings, teachers, caregivers etc.  In most cases these were safe and most of us were never abused by the people we loved. It saddens me to know not all children are so fortunate.
When we were just little girls we were generally attracted to kindness. If someone was kind to us we would sometimes think we had a crush on that person. Our idea of having a crush was therefore based on the love and kindness we were shown by others. I am referring to children about 4 to 8 years of age.
Most of us were lucky and we were not harmed by someone taking advantage of our feelings for them. Some of us would have followed our crushes anywhere and done anything for them. Because of their love and kindness toward us, we believed they loved us too. We were too young to know that some people would harm us. Most of us never had to to deal with such abuse, but some of us did. 
However, abuse is not about love. I am bringing it into the discussion because when it happens to children, it leaves terrible damage. So it is out of respect that I bring it up, not all of us had pleasant journeys learning about love. 
 

 

 

Crushes in Our Early Teen Years

                                                           

 

Crushes in our early teen years were primarily based on looks. Perhaps we were attracted to their behavior, bad or good. If we found some guy we thought was both kind and cute and we felt attracted, we were pretty well hooked. These crushes sometimes only lasted for a few days, or a few weeks at best.

 

 

Perhaps we fell for a favorite teacher, a doctor or some other person who influenced us as we were growing up. This is what my mom called “puppy love” and usually made comments about how silly I was. This wasn’t a very smart move on her part. I, on the other hand thought this was true love. 

 

 

It may not have been a mature kind of love, however it is serious enough to affect us. Parents should considered those feelings and not poke fun. We got our ideas about love by watching our parents interact. Some of us by listening to music and making decisions based on the lyrics that we heard day after day. We read books and watched TV, believing that what we read and saw was for real.

 

We probably assumed that when we developed a crush on someone who affected us so much that we were in love. There was hardly a moment that passed by that we could think about anything else but our crush. We couldn’t concentrate on anything else and couldn’t sleep, and it felt like love. Therefore, we concluded that we must be in love.

 

 

 

 

 

Crushes in our Younger Years Developed out of Fascination

Mature Love Knows

Crushes in our younger years developed out of fascination, not because they had a wonderful personality. In those younger years, it was more about looks and popularity. How many of us had crushes on TV and movie personalities or musicians we heard on radio? All that truly mattered was that our emotions were in charge, but emotions are not enough to base love upon.

 

Mature People Know

 

Mature people know that “love” does not happen over night and it takes time to develop, Attraction plays a huge roll in the process, but so do pheromones, our frame of mind, and so does our environment. These all play a roll on our love journey.

A whole lot of things are going on in and around us when we become attracted to someone.

 

 

 

Link to: What is Mature Love: Part 2

Link to: What is Mature Love: Part 3

Link to: What is Mature Love: Part 4

Link to: What is Mature Love: Part 5

Link to: What is Mature Love: Part 6

Link to: What is Mature Love: Part 7

Link to: What is Mature Love: Part 8

 

4 thoughts on “What is Mature Love? Part 1”

  1. Jeramy, if you're reading this today, thank you for your helpful ideas. I love you.

    Reply
  4. Pingback: ♥ What You Need To Know About Mature Love vs Immature Love ♥ - Families and Love

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