What is Mature Love? Part 5

 

 

 

Mature Love Allows the Other to Grow

Allowing the Other to Grow has it’s Limits

 

Mature love allows others to grow and to have different interests from your own. Keeping your partner from growing will not make him/her, love you more. Everybody grows, your partner will change and so will you, is is part of our freedom to do so. Therefore, you must be willing to allow your partner to grow, and he must allow you the same freedom.

Having the strength to allow the other some freedom will inevitably help the relationship to grow. As you mature as an individual, it is truly important to recognize your uniqueness. Therefore you cannot expect each person to have the exact same interests. However, on the other hand, loads of couples do, but I doubt it is the norm.

Just because you are a part or a couple, doesn’t mean that you will stop having interests outside your relationship. Nor will your partner. So be accepting of one another’s interests.

 

Allowing Others to Grow Has it’s Limits

 

Allowing others to grow doe not mean that it doesn’t have it’s limits. This does not mean that you can continue acting like you are still single. For example, growth does not include hanging out at your local bad all day. But it could easily mean that that you can still be involved in a team sport for instance.

Trying to control your partner’s every move and trying to stop them from pursuing their interests will not work. Nor will it help your relationship to develop and grow.

By allowing your partner some much needed freedom, it send them a message of trust, and gives them room to grow. Taking away their freedom to pursue their own interests is about a lack of trust on your part. There is probably a sense of fear that your partner will grow in a new direction, and that you will lose them. Perhaps you are afraid your partner will cheat on you if you allow them some freedom.

If your partner is going to move away from you or cheat on you, they will do so. Regardless of their freedom or not. If you believe your partner is not trustworthy, and you have a good reason for your mistrust, then discuss it. Why would you even want to be in a relationship with someone you do not trust in the first place?

 

 

Outside Interests

 

If your outside interests are about cheating or just about wanting to be away from your partner, they deserve more. If you don’t love them, be honest, and set them free. Then you can do what you want without hurting someone who loves you.

If you suspect that your partner is cheating, or of wanting to be away from you, then discuss it. You can choose to suffer, or to face the challenge face on.

The truth may be painful, but you could also be wrong. Regardless of the outcome, you will no longer suffer from not knowing.

 

 

Some Relationships Work Best With More Freedom

Mature Love Allows the Other to Grow

 

Some couples love to spend most of their free time together. Many couples have similar interests and want nothing more than being together all the time.

Other couples spend loads of time away from one another, and it works very well for them. I know couples who spend months away from one another, both for work and travel. Their growth happens both while being together and away from one another. This is wonderful when they both agree with this set up. It isn’t for some people, but works very well for others.

 

Mature Love Allows the Other to Grow

 

Mature love allows the other to grow even if they are not always together. It takes a great deal of trust, but it allows them the sense of freedom that they desire and need. If they both agree with this arrangement, and are both happy, that’s wonderful.

Do you need to be with your partner most of the time, or do you need a lot of alone time? Does your partner need a lot of alone time? Is he/she involved with sports or other things that will keep him/her away from home? If so, how do you feel about it?

Answer these questions honestly. If you think you are going to manipulate your partner into changing after you are living together, forget it. You will only cause the both of you to suffer. Better to be honest about what you want right away.

 

Link to; What is Mature Love: Part 1