What is Mature Love? Part 2

 

 

 

Mature Love Sometimes Manifests Itself in the Teen Years

Love in the Teen Years – Early Adolescence

 

Mature love sometimes manifests itself in the teen years and its beginnings show up at about the age of 12. This is when some teen begin to have romantic feelings. They begin to learn the art of romance. Like we had to learn to talk and walk when we were very young, and how we will have to learn the challenges of becoming elderly people one day. We learn the art of love and romance when we are entering our teen years.

Young loved may be somewhat skewed as often times teens are engaged with magical thinking. At 12 to about 14 crushes are common, especially with girls. They often have crushes on idols, singers, actors, popular boys in school, teachers, and others. 

These feelings may seem superficial to more mature people, but they feel real to the people who are going through this experience. We could say that this is a fantasy world, however, it is all in the process of growing up. 

 

 

Things Have Changed in the 21st Century

 

Even though things have changed in more modern times, teens still have to go through the same issues that we had to deal with. People still have crushes, there are feelings of uneasiness, awkwardness, shyness, fantasies, dating anxiety, confusion, unrequited love, break-ups, and of course, sex.

In this day , adolescents are much more engaged with online sexual activity. Evidence shows that teen are, “high consumers of pornography, they are sexting, and using apps to meet partners for casual sex-hook-ups”.

This is not to say that every adolescent is doing this. But in any case it seems like being an adolescent these days is much more complicated than it used to be. I cannot even begin to imagine what it must be like to be in the shoes of a 12 year old trying to maneuver around these decisions. From the research I have done these activities begin as young as 12 and well into the university years and most likely beyond.

 

Ages 14 to 18

 

As we get a bit older we see our friends and peers engaged in heavy drinking, doing drugs, and engaging in sexual activity. Ready or not. Teens often feel that they need to engage in these behaviors as well. This is a time in life when we want to fit in, we do not want to be excluded from the crowd. Acceptance is so important , especially during those high school years. This need for acceptance probably never leaves many people, so it is easy to understand how difficult it must be for teens.

Teens see their friends and peers doing all these things and then watch as they fall in love, and of course they want the same for themselves. Some follow behind like sheep to the slaughter, a slaughter, because they just are not ready for these challenges. They want so much to be accepted and loved too.

 

So Many are not Ready

 

 

So many are not ready and/or too immature to be engaged in these activities. However, loads of them just walk away and do their own thing. They are perhaps more mature in their thinking and find friends who are like minded.  

Making decisions is all a part of growing up. Being foolish, making loads of mistakes and believing that we know it all just a part of the process. 

It is a time when so many get hurt, both mentally and physically. So many are used and their love is taken for granted. Used by people they genuinely care for and believed their love was reciprocated. How many are raped but nobody pays the price except for the victim?

So many lose respect for themselves, mostly because they are not ready for the challenges they undertake. They find themselves in situations they cannot control and are afraid to get help out of embarrassment. 

 

 

Many Make the Right Decisions

 

Many were making the right decisions and getting along just fine. Some are capable of making mature decisions for themselves, perhaps due to a healthy self esteem. 

No matter what the choices are, it is a learning process and everyone has to go through the adolescent years to grow up.

Some of the people I grew up with were getting married straight out of high school, having dated the same one from the time they were 14. I know several of these people and their marriages have stood the test of time. Many have not. How they survived I have no idea. 

Some were obviously mature for their age, others were not. Perhaps some were just lucky, I am proud of them to say the least. Marriage is not easy even when people are older and mature enough to take the plunge.

I am baffled as to how these pimple faced teen made it through 40 years of being together, I am surprised some made it through the first 6 months.

Perhaps they grew up together and learned the rules along the way. I do know some who are miserable and have been for years, but still they choose to remain together. 

 

Love in the Teen Years Left Some Pregnant and Alone

 

Love in the teen years left some pregnant and alone, too many at that. Most went through an unwanted pregnancy on their own, often having to live with their parents. loads of these babies were given up for adoption and several were raised by grandparents. 

Some of these girls were raped and having to live with it for the rest of their lives. These girls ended up with more sorrow than they could have imagined. Although birth control and abortions are widely utilized, there are still many unwanted babies being born to very young girls. Some are as young a 12, and are not ready to be mothers.

 

 

Link to: What is Mature Love: Part 1