Is There Room for Anger in a Loving Relationship?
Feeling anger towards those we love is not always a good idea. It is also a difficult topic to discuss. However, it is part of our human reality. But is there room for anger in love? Yes and no, anger is a human emotion, so yes, of course we get angry at times. It is normal to feel angry at our loved ones.
Anger can range from slight irritation to full blown rage. Many things can cause us to feel angry. It could be frustration, name calling, insults, injustice, miscommunication, ego, lies, all sorts of things can trigger it. One or the other should find a way to stop the angry discussion, before it escalates and becomes harder to end.
Is there room for full blown anger, flying off the handle, screaming, hitting, cutting each other down and breaking our spirits? Absolutely not. When we get angry we need to keep it under control. Try to use it effectively, but never in an abusive manner. Feeling anger towards those we love needs to be examined as to why we act this way.
Anger Can be Both Constructive and/or Destructive
We Are Responsible for Our Own Emotions. Therefore we Must be Cautious When
Feeling Anger Towards Those we Love
Feeling anger towards those we love can be harmful to our relationships. Anger can be both constructive and/or destructive; it is a way of expressing displeasure and/or dislike. I believe anger can be justified as a means of letting off a little steam. If someone has anger building up in them, it has to be released at some point or another. Therefore, it seems to be a good idea to speak about it before it gets to a boiling point.
The problem with anger is that, sometimes we have a tendency to blame others instead of trying to figure out what the real problem is. Anger comes from within ourselves it doesn’t come from the outside. No one can make us angry, that’s right, we and only we, are responsible for our own feelings and thus cannot blame others for how we feel. Anger, like any other emotion comes from us, we are the ones to decide how we will react to a situation; we are in control of our emotions. So we decide what to do with it.
When anger flares up in my relationship, it is usually because I feel powerless in a specific situation. Ego overtakes us both and anger erupts. This is mostly why I feel anger towards those I love. Is the anger justifiable? Perhaps, but not to the point of outrage.
We Often get Angry Because we Feel we are Not in Control of a Situation
Feeling Anger Towards Those we Love.
We often get angry because we feel we are not in control of a situation, a person, we may be jealous or resentful of someone else’s situation in life. Perhaps we feel that we have been cheated out of something or other, but most of the time we blame others for all of it.
For example; we may get angry at a friend for not being where they said they would be. However, instead of getting angry, talk to your friend and get the whole story. Perhaps they were delayed for a good reason. If so, move on, get over it, however, if they were just not keeping track of time or some other silly thing, tell them how it makes you feel. But be big enough to walk away from the anger. Once again move on, get over it, anger will just ruin your day anyway.
We may be resentful of someone’s station in life. They may have more than we do and we feel like we have been cheated out of something. It is not the other person’s fault that we are angry, but we blame them anyway. We need to figure out why we are angry and figure out if it is justified. If it is not, find another way to cope with the issue.
In most cases the other person doesn’t care how angry or jealous you are, they move on, the anger will hurt you more than them. In other cases your anger gets out of control. You may end up hurting people because you are not big enough to recognize that you are the one who has to change your behavior. So please be careful how you express your anger to others.
Feeling anger towards those we love is a dangerous game to play. So be cautious.
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See Why we Feel Angry Towards Those we Love. Part 2
See Why we Feel Angry Towards Those we Love. Part 3
See Why we Feel Angry Towards Those we Love. Part 4