Recognizing our Fears
Recognizing our fears brings us another giant step closer to freedom and living joyfully. These things are not possible if you live in a self-made prison of fear.
It is common knowledge that fear is the first emotion we feel after birth. It was always there and I assumed it was normal for everyone. This may be true for many of us, however, I believe some of us had more than our fair share.
I know healthy fear is helpful, of course it is. It is healthy for us to have a normal amount of it. Fear often keeps us safe from danger. For example; most people don’t blindly walk or run across a busy street without checking to see if it’s safe to do so. At least it was the norm pre cell phones and texting.
When I was in high school, i was fearful of indulging in drugs. Fearful of getting into cars with kids or were stoned or otherwise drunk, getting behind the wheel. These fears protected me and helped me to survive those tough years.
Paralyzing Fear
Over the years normal fears turned into paralyzing fears that kept me from living a normal life. I was no longer just afraid of the usual things, like sticking my hand on a burning hot surface. My fears about other things were clearly affecting my joy for life.
These fears were destructive to my life so I had to make some life changing decisions. Do I still have fears, even irrational fears? Yes I do. However, it is nothing like it used to be.
In order to deal with these irrational fears I had to take a long walk down memory lane. This was not a pleasant walk, but, it did help me to understand why fear had such a powerful hold on me.
Remembering Fears
Fears Around Abandonment
One of the first powerful memories I unraveled, occurred when I was about 3 years of age. I was alone with my dad one day and I fell asleep upstairs on my bed. There was a comforting feeling of safety knowing my dad was downstairs working. However, as I slept he took a moment to go next door to pick up a tool that he needed.
I was not aware that he left me in the house alone when I woke up only a short time after he left. I went downstairs excited to spend more time with my dad, but he wasn’t anywhere to be found. In that moment a jet flew overhead and at the same time, broke the sound barrier.
Being only 3, I had no idea what that was and that huge boom terrified me. Moments later my dad walked in and rescued me. After that experience I began to fear loud noises. Thunder storms terrified the life out of me. When I became the mother to two little boys I decided no child of mine would ever fear thunder storms. So I faced my fears and did what I had to do.
Thunder storms became a show to watch. Sofas and chairs were pulled to the center of the room where we could safely see the bright lights and take joy in the loud bangs. I have a healthy respect for thunder and lightning storms and they no longer terrify me. Just the opposite, they delight me.
Fears Around Abandonment
I also discovered that I had fears around abandonment around that very story of finding myself alone that day. For a little girl, finding herself alone for a very short period of time can seem like hours. The fear of ever being left alone again grew to become a profound scar in my subconscious mind.
During my walk down memory lane I also discovered I was afraid to ride a bike, swimming, flying, trusting people, and speaking in public. The list just kept getting longer and longer.
I am not Alone
Recognizing our Fears
So many of us live in fear and we build protection around ourselves. Unfortunately, we do so not knowing that we are really building prisons for ourselves. We do not realize that we are trapping ourselves and eventually we find there is no escape. I decided I had no choice, I had to get out of my self made prison. And I did. Although I still struggle with fear at times, I have conquered many of them.
I see it manifest in other people all the time now, because I recognize it in myself. It shows up in politicians, doctors, nurses, police officers, friends, family members, angry people, sad people, everywhere I look.
Fear is everywhere, and that in itself is not a pleasant thing to contemplate. People do a lot of stupid things because of fear. I am a firm believer in gun control because I believe that guns, in the hands of fearful people, is a tragedy waiting to happen.
Recognizing our Fears
Once I began looking more closely and being able to name my fears it was time to face them. When we recognize our fears we can make a conscious decision to eradicate them. This means that we admit to being fearful of those things that keep us bound in our prison.
It isn’t easy, I can admit that, but life is a lot more fun and facing my fears has definitely transformed my life.
One Step at a Time
Remember my little story about thunder storms? Well, I once took a stance against my fears because of my little children. I did not want them to be fearful of these storms. I found a way to create stepping stones and every fear I conquered created a new stone for me.
I took my fears on one at a time. I took on the ones that mattered and left the others behind. For example; I left swimming and biking behind, they no longer matter to me, but they may one day. However, the fear of abandonment, speaking in public, flying, and the fear of trusting people are no longer an issue.
Changing my Way of Thinking
A time came when I could no longer hide behind my fears, Ignoring them kept me paralyzed, this process no longer worked for me. I, therefore, changed my thinking to facing my fears by doing the things I was afraid to do.
AS a consequence, my fears began to drop, one fear at a time. They no longer have a hold on me. I am free from the prison That I started to build when I was only 3 years old.
I am much happier, and more willing to try new things, and to experience the possibility of finding new things that I love to do.
How Fear Prevents the Law of Attraction From Working
Fear prevents the LOA from working because it is a negative emotion and causes fearful thoughts.
To manifest our desires we need to have positive emotions, feelings and, thoughts.
If your fears are overwhelming you, please consider getting professional help. No one deservers to continually live in fear.
Link to what your body may be trying to tell you, hidden emotions included.
Image by; Kelle Pick and Pixabay