Laughter is the Best Medicine
Getting in Trouble
Getting in Trouble
I remember getting in trouble at school and most times it was due to talking and laughing. It was fun when I got in trouble at work for laughing and making others laugh. After all, my work was not being affected. I drew people around me who also loved to joke around and make me laugh. It was always fun to attract people who love to tease me. They also know I will give back to them what they hand to me. I can take the teasing and I love to tease back.
It’s not always an easy balance, I have borders. I don’t allow people with a dirty mouth or those who use aggression to play this game with me. I’ve seen others trying to copy this behaviour but it doesn’t work for everyone. Some can deal it out but can’t take it in return. They take everything to heart even when the other isn’t serious. It’s just a form of play, and not meant to be taken seriously. People who don’t like themselves don’t do well at this kind of back-and-forth banter.
Laughter has Been a Huge Part of my Life
I recall hanging out with happy people as a teenager, one girl used to call me “Little Carol Burnette”. Burnette was a comedian who hosted her own tv show from 1967 to 1978. If you don’t know about her, look at some of her stuff on YouTube. She may not be for everyone, but she may be worth a giggle or two for you. This friend loved to laugh and joke as much as I did, she had a wonderful sense of humour. She knew that laughter is the best medicine.
During a tumultuous relationship, laughter kept me going and helped me along the way. I made a new friend a few years after my marriage broke down. Therefore, we laughed a great deal during those years. We could be childlike and silly, and people didn’t always appreciate our sense of humor. However, they had no idea how this was helping me to keep sane. No matter how rough things got, we always found something to laugh about. It may have been a band-aid solution, but it worked. Those times taught me that “laughter is the best medicine”. Laughter was there when I needed it and there was no expense attached. I was able to take a healthy dose of laughter, with no side effects.
University Years
I decided at 45 to go to university after being out of school for 30 years. Leave home, and leaving my son with his dad was a rough time. Times were rough until this girl introduced herself to me as a classmate. I had no way of knowing just how much laughter this girl was going to add to my life. The universe was taking care of me again, it only took a minute to become fast friends. We shared many hilarious moments and made those 4 years a joy for me.
Today laughter still plays a huge role in my life. As in the past, laughter reduces my stress and builds up my ability to laugh at myself. It comes to the rescue when I find myself in sticky situations. There are times when I am not able to laugh at myself and/or the situations I encounter. However, I am learning to do my best. I live in the country and spend a great deal of time on my own. Therefore, I do watch a lot of comedy on tv, YouTube, and I do internet searches to get my laughter fix.
How Laughter and Humor can Play a Role in Relationships
Relationships, as we all know, can be a strain on our mental health. I am serious. No matter how much we love others, things happen that put a damper on those relationships. There are arguments, misunderstandings, not listening, ego issues, illness, addictions, and conflicts, just naturally arise.
Laughter and a sense of humor help us to connect with one another. They help take the stress and aggravations to manageable levels. Therefore, these irritants dissolve and allow a sense of intimacy to flow back once the situation is under control. Using humor helps to smooth over the conflict. A smiling face is so much easier to look at rather than a staunch, angry stare. A sense of humor can diffuse the tension and bring a more relaxed atmosphere to help resolve conflict.
It has been my experience when conflicts occur, and ego’s get in the way, humor works best. Laughing at myself, allows me to look more clearly at the situation. In the end I am more able to look at situations from different perspectives. Both tend to calm down and are more able to agree and say, “yes, I could be wrong”. They also say things like, “I couldn’t see that before”, or perhaps an “I was just being stubborn or silly”.
Laughter also allows me to walk away from the battle, leaving it in the past where it belongs. I try not to carry it into the future to cause me more anguish, or resentment towards the others involved.
A Word of Caution
Laughter is the Best Medicine
Please do not use laughter to poke fun at someone. Humor, if you want it to help, is not going to improve your relationships if you use it to ridicule. If humor is used to put someone down, or to hurt them, is cruel. Use humor and laughter on a lighthearted level only. Remember, some people have never learned to not take themselves seriously. So be cautious.
Humor is a tool to help us get past those conflicts and not something to use to hurt someone. Don’t turn this into an excuse to use sarcasm or even manipulation. Sarcasm and manipulation may seem to work for a while, but hurt feelings tend to stick around a lot longer. Be kind. Laughter is the best medicine so use it wisely.
List of Reasons to use Humor
Do not use Humor to Harm Another
Helps to strengthen our relationships.
· We become less defensive. It’s not easy to fight and argue when you’re smiling, laughing, and being silly. You do have to know when it’s an appropriate time to do so.
· Helps us to let go of needing to be right. It gives us time to relax our bodies and minds.
· Relaxes the ego. We calm down enough to recognize the ego has been activated and see it in action.
· Helps to bring out lightheartedness. Arguments and conflicts tend to feel weighty like we are forced to carry a heavy load.
· Shows your willingness to be a bit more playful instead of being so serious.
· It can change a cold-hearted situation to a warmer feeling of co-operation.
· According to research by Dr. Lee Beck and Dr. Stanley Tan, laughter has health benefits such as:
1. Lowers blood pressure,
2. Reduces stress hormone levels,
3. Works your abs,
4. Improves cardiac health,
5. Boosts t-cells (immune system cells),
6. Triggers the release of endorphins, and
7. Produces a general sense of well-being.
Do not use Humor to Harm Another
· Please do not make hurtful remarks. Even if you think you’re being funny, watch how the other’s response. If they look hurt, then stop. Don’t try to cover up by saying, “I was just joking”, this just makes matters worse. This will just escalate the situation and will not solve anything.
· Do not criticize the other by saying stuff like. “you don’t get it” or “can’t you take a joke”. If you do, don’t be surprised if the other walks away or begins to put you down.
· If the other looks uncomfortable or hurt and not playing along, then stop. No matter how well you think you know someone, you don’t know everything about someone else. Sometimes our jokes can cause deep pain that just escalate the problem.
· Don’t use humor to express hidden feelings. For example, you may not even realize that feelings of anger may be expressed by laughing at the other person’s expense.
· Don’t use an offensive tone then laugh about it when the other feels hurt.
· When you realize you’re wrong, stop arguing, even if you’re playing and trying to be lighthearted.
· Don’t overdo it by trying to end a serious discussion by playfully trying to hug, kiss, or tickle someone. The other may not be ready to close the discussion. Be respectful and if there are still conflicting views ask to take a break and pick it back up at an agreed time.
Learn to Laugh at Yourself
Self Criticism
I had to learn to do this for myself and I am still learning to do so. It wasn’t easy at first, but it gets easier all the time. Since I laugh at myself and/or my circumstances, I have noticed it’s easier for me to accept myself. As a consequence, I also allow others to join in the laughter. Therefore, I am at a place where I can listen to others make jokes about me. However, if the other is doing it out of cruelty or trying to embarrass me, I can walk away and let it go. I sometimes choose to tell them how I feel without getting angry or upset.
I learned to stop comparing myself to others. Likewise if someone else is comparing me to them, I can tell them to stop. I have accepted the fact that I am who and what I am. Therefore, I am not here to be someone else, but here to be “me”. If others don’t like me, that’s okay, I usually get over it pretty fast. As a consequence, the effect on me is minimal. In addition, I also know I am loved and accepted by others. Sometimes I have to use this knowledge as a guide to just keep being myself. Besides, there is no one I would rather be.
Self Criticism
I also stopped criticizing myself for every mistake I ever made. Most of the time no one else ever noticed what I was doing, I was alone, criticizing myself. I was being overly self-centered. Meanwhile, laughing at myself eventually helped me to develop self-acceptance. Laughter allowed me to laugh at these simple mistakes that we all make now and again. In other words, I was able to relax and give myself that much-needed break from self-criticism. Today I look at mistakes as opportunities to grow and to learn from them.
I have become more loving toward myself and less judgmental. Therefore, I am now “my own best friend”. I no longer need acceptance from others. Therefore, I accept myself more and more all the time. I can laugh at myself and continue on my life’s journey. Meanwhile, what is also amazing, is the fact that I can love those who don’t love me back. I love this about me, it is definitely a gift I appreciate. Therefore, I know that laughter is the best medicine.
The Bottom Line
Laughter and humor are good for the soul. That is to say, they enhance our lives and also the lives of others. They improve our mental health and physical health and our relationships. Consequently, even more so when we learn to laugh at ourselves.
Always remember, laughter is the best medicine.