Why Trust is Vital in a Relationship Part 2

 

Why Trust is Vital

Building Trust Takes Time

 

Why trust is vital and how to build it. Building trust takes time especially when we have been hurt in the past. However, it is an essential part of any good relationship and an integral asset to a good mental health. Trust begins in infancy, babies need to experience being loved, cared for, cuddled, fed etc. They need this if they are to grow and develop in a healthy fashion.

People who have had a great deal of mental/physical abuse and neglect have a difficult time to develop trust at all. Others who have difficulty in developing trust, have been chronically put down, have had many problem relationships. They have been put down, neglected, lied to, cheated on etc. Perhaps they have been abandoned by someone they loved for no apparent reason.

Some have been divorced, and others have a low self-esteem etc. As difficult as it may seem, we still need to learn to trust, change our way of acting and thinking, in order to develop long lasting, deep satisfying, and trustworthy relationships.

 

I Have Learned That Trust is Vital

I have learned that trust is vital. Becoming a trustworthy person may put us in a vulnerable position. Often times we put ourselves in the hands of people who could eventually hurt us. However, not everyone out there is out to hurt us. The benefits of trust far outweigh the cost of never trusting people again.

 

Revisiting Part 1 of Why Trust is Vital to a Relationship

Betrayal Destroys While Loyalty Builds Trust

In part 1, shared with you a story of betrayal and part2 is about trust. This story begins with a totally different type of relationship. A relationship built on trust is so much easier.

Betrayal destroys while loyalty builds trust. Now that I am in a relationship of trust I see the difference between betrayal and loyalty. It is definitely a reassuring situation. I never worry about where my partner is or who he may be with. When he is going to be late, even when it is just going to be for 20 minutes, he always calls to tell me.

No more lies, no cheating, and no more sleepless nights worrying about what will come next. Mistrust is no longer an issue, therefore, the stress is gone.

The insecurities I used to experience in previous relationships are no longer issues.

 

Why I Chose to Trust

Why I chose to trust is because my partner tells me the truth when I ask him where he has been and what he did. He never gets angry, defensive, or irritated in any way. That tells me he has nothing to hide. There is no need to worry because, he is always where he says he is going to be. And I have checked a few times. It doesn’t bother him because he understands where I’m coming from. No matter when I call he always answers his phone.

We have open conversations and he is direct with what he tells me. He looks me in the eye and never says things like, “If you don’t believe me, you can check.” My x-partner used to tell me that all the time, until I actually checked his story out. It blew his life into little pieces as I discovered the lies, cheating, and disloyalty.

 

The Difference in This Relationship

The difference in this relationship is trust. I trust him and he knows he can trust me. He always knows where I am going and the people I am going to be with. As a result, I can be away for 2 or 3 days at a time.  And we both know where each one will be and who we will be with. We don’t give reason for mistrust to come between us.

He always comes first for me. Likewise, I come first for him, even our families don’t come before our loyalty to one another. Therefore, there are no doubts about his loyalty to me. I show interest in knowing what he is doing when we are apart. And I show my interest by listening to what he shares with me. 

Our phones, computers and lap tops are open, and we know one another’s passwords. We never need to use them, but they are available. I know he has nothing to hide, because he is usually consistent in his behavior and actions.  Nor do I have to play guessing games with him because he is open. Similarly, he never has to play guessing games with me.

 

 

We Develop Trust By

 

We develop trust by;

♥ Believing in the goodness of people. Not everyone is out to hurt us.

♥ Understanding that life is fair and balanced, encourages us to take chances. 

♥ When we take a chance in believing that as we develop loving, trustworthy relationships, we grow. Therefore, we may eventually heal from past hurtful relationships.

♥ Taking risks may eventually be beneficial to us.

♥ Being open about ourselves and allowing others to be open about themselves, will ultimately, create trust.

♥ Letting go of the fear of rejection, failure, of being hurt, of the unknown, or intimacy etc. is worth taking the chance. Hopefully, letting go will ultimately pay off in the long run.

 

Link to; Why Trust is Vital in a Relationship Part 1

Link to; Why Trust is Vital in a Relationship Part 3