There is no Love in Manipulation.
There is no love in manipulation because it is a vicious act that people use to get their own way. Manipulation, is way of getting others to do for us what we want them to do, in a sneaky, nasty and /or aggressive manner. All of us are vulnerable to the manipulator and we may, in fact be the manipulators in our relationships.
We need to know and understand the traits of the manipulator and how to stop the behavior. In order to stop it in others, we have to be unwilling to accept it from the one trying to do this to us. If we are the one doing the manipulation we need to figure out why we use it. And find a way to deal with life in an up front, honest and non-manipulative fashion. We also need to understand that manipulation cannot stand alone, it takes two to make it work, so be aware of it to stop it in it’s tracks.
Manipulators Choose Their Prey.
Manipulators choose their prey, people they know they can manipulate. These people are generally needy and oftentimes vulnerable, they only feel loved and useful when they are able to take care others. Therein, many of them crave the acceptance and approval of other people, they are very insecure and have a very low self-esteem.
Those who are being manipulated, generally cannot say no to anyone because they are fearful of losing the people that they so desperately need. So, they do what they feel they have to do to keep those people in their lives. Once the manipulator sees this, they have their prey and the needy person gets caught up in the manipulators plans.
The Manipulator Will use Anything to get What he Wants.
The manipulator will use lies, aggression, false love, threats, promises and really good arguments to get what they want. They will also threaten to leave the person if they do not do as they are expected to do. It is common for them to prey on the persons’ vulnerabilities and have absolutely no qualms about exploiting them at all cost. Because the manipulator wants to be constantly in control, their motives are always self-serving. Therefore, they will do what ever they need to do to get their own way.
Sometimes the manipulator will maintain his control and power by making it seem as though the other is really in control. Self pity is often used, and will blame others when things go wrong in their lives. Not all manipulators are angry, vicious, cruel people, some are just really clever at getting their own way in life. There seems to be a skill involved in doing this, they know what they are doing. It seems as though they are doing this for their own survival.
Even if this is their way of surviving, it does not make it right.
Find Ways to Sop the Manipulation.
We have to find ways to stop the manipulator or indeed if you are the manipulator – find ways to put a stop to your own behavior. First we need to identify the problem, the actions used and stop the person from doing this to us. Secondly, we can stop falling for the tactics being used against us. Thirdly, get the help you need through counselling.
If you are the manipulator, take responsibility for yourself and begin to work on your self-esteem issues. if you cannot do this on your own, go for the help you need.
Sites of Interest
For further information on manipulation I have found a couple of sites that go into depth about this issue. They will help you to identify what manipulation looks like. These sites will help you to identify if you are in fact a manipulator and/or if you are being manipulated.