Jealousy is an Emotion That Challenges us.
One of my Experiences With Jealousy.
It took years before I understood that jealousy is an emotion that challenges us. I remember being feeling jealous as a child, but I did not realize how ugly an emotion that it is. My experience with jealousy as an adult began with a jealousy of other women’s bodies. However, I would have to go through surgery to have the nose I wanted and/or the breasts I wanted. However, it just wasn’t worth it. I had to exercise as much as they did to get the trim figures they had. I soon discovered that I was unwilling to go through the process of change required to give me those things. Therefore, I just got over it. I am truly thankful for my body today and I thank God I couldn’t change my body at that time.
What Jealousy did to Me.
What jealousy did to me was not good. When I was married, my X cheated on me. This emotion made me feel insecure, and the jealousy I felt almost destroyed me. I was incapable of properly taking care of myself and my children, couldn’t eat and lost way too much weight, and I looked sick. I was so thin that people thought I had cancer. My heart was crippled with pain and I began to believe that I was the biggest loser ever; and that I would never be loved by anyone.
Therefore, my next relationship was doomed from the beginning. I believed so strongly that everyone I dated would cheat on me that I created problems where no problem existed. Subsequent relationships failed for the same reason, it took me for ever to develop the self esteem I needed to be in a healthy relationship. I’m not saying I wouldn’t be jealous if it happened again, however, I know it wouldn’t cripple me. There is a trust within myself now, and I know it would be much easier to get on with my life. Besides, life is too short to endure that kind of pain.
The Importance of Communication.
The importance of communication as I have learned is essential to keeping jealousy at bay. I communicate to my partner how I feel about those things that may cause jealousy. And, if I feel insecure about something or other, I tell him. There is no longer any need to allow myself to play things up in my mind, I try to see things for what they really are. The development of trust in my relationships has caused an amazing change in my life.
Learning to communicate my feelings and emotions, means that I no longer have to deal with all that jealousy. Because we talk, I know how other feels as well. Good communication is about two people engaging and wanting to make things better. If I develop insecure feelings, or jealousy I let the other know how I feel right away. Worrying about what may happen in the future takes away from the happiness I can have in the present. Jealousy is an emotion that challenges us, so why waste time allowing it to do this?
A Cure for Jealousy.
A cure for jealousy as I see it, is based on changing my mind about the way I think. I used to create all kinds of projected stories in my imagination. This would cause emotional reactions and behaviors that caused more conflicts in my relationships than anything else did. I’ve trained myself to stop this behavior and now I just ask questions. Therefore, if I feel insecure about something I’ve imagined, I communicate it, before the issue gets out of hand. Even if there is justification for jealousy, anger and self pity it is not going to suddenly give me what I want. I always use my intellect over my emotions, and I stop creating stories in my imagination. There is no need to allow my emotions to rule the day.