Focus on the Unhealthy Relationship
As I focus on the unhealthy relationship I realize there is so much more to this this topic. I want to focus a little bit more on those realities. So many families get hurt because they are so focused on “self”. They cannot put their relationships in focus. I am not a counsellor but I can see when families are hurting. It is usually because people are not healthy enough, or in fact mature enough, to recognize the unhealthy activities that are happening in their relationships.
Twenty Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship
As I focus on the unhealthy relationship I have found twenty signs that your relationship may, in-fact be unhealthy.
-
A feeling that your relationship is more of a burden than a joy.
-
There never seems to be a feeling of happiness.
-
You are always arguing, and fighting.
-
You’re feeling tired all the time.
-
There is abuse, maybe verbal, maybe physical, perhaps both.
-
You wish your partner harm.
-
There is a fear of communication.
-
Feeling like a sex object has become common for you.
-
Children in the home are suffering because of the relationship.
-
You find yourself wishing your partner would never come back, maybe wish him/her dead.
-
There is a feeling of being in a prison or in bondage.
-
You feel alone most of the time, even when your partner is at your side.
-
A feeling of obsessed with the relationship is constant.
-
You are in the relationship because you feel you need to be, not because you “want” to be.
-
There is a great deal of jealousy.
-
Manipulation has taken over and there is no longer any respect.
-
You are both constantly vying for control.
-
There is enmeshment (you don’t know whether your feelings/emotions are yours or your partners’)
-
You are terrified to be alone, so you cling to the other.
-
Betrayal seems to be your constant companion.
This is a Tough Topic.
This is a tough topic and a serious one. If you recognize that you are in an unhealthy relationship and in difficulty, perhaps you can seek professional help. Or perhaps begin to open up to people who will be able to help you.
“Once a person is deeply involved in a toxic love affair, they gradually lose the ability to recognize unhealthy and unacceptable behavior. They eventually lose touch with the concept of a healthy relationship”. (http://www.selfgrowth.com/)
This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to unhealthy relationships. I feel compelled to at least introduce the topic. I care a great deal for those who struggle every day within their relationships. Couples are hurting, their children are hurting, their spouse in pain all the time. I believe it is important to understand that there is always help available. Therefore, my advice is to seek out the resources that are available for you.
Thinking nobody knows about your situation, is, generally a fallacy, people know, even if they don’t say anything. Be brave enough to get help if you need it. I am not talking about life and death situations. The purpose of this post is to talk about the average dysfunctional relationship. For other, more serious relationships, you will definitely need professional help.
“Unhappiness is not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it”
Don Herold
This is a great blog post, thank you for sharing Marjorie. I hope reading your posts and links will help bring me the strength I need in repairing the relationships I have hurt and damaged.
Kim
Thank you Kim, I had my own share of repairing relationships, wish I could have started sooner. Best of luck with all you do, I'm sure you'll be fine 🙂
Maybe you will find me this time. I look forward to reading your blog.
Thank you Paula, and welcome to my blog, hope you enjoy it 🙂