Discipline Children, but Always with Love.
Discipline with love is first about applying it to “self”, then to others that you are responsible for. I always use discipline with love and affection. When we use discipline, it should never use it in an aggressive way or to punish. I believe, that, if we use an aggressive form of punishment, it is more likely a form child abuse. Although, discipline is necessary, don’t ever cross the line into child abuse. We can apply discipline to both children and adults as well.
My boyfriend and I prepare healthy foods for one another; however, I could easily live on cheesecake and junk food. It’s great for him to speak up at times, and he helps me by being self-disciplined. He will sometimes say “no way are we going for burgers and fries, we need to eat healthier”. Eating a healthy meal is best for me, but I don’t always like it. Like a child, I don’t especially enjoy being disciplined. But even adults need it sometimes. I saw this happen quite regularly within job situations. Discipline is just a part of life. However, discipline is essential, and we sometimes must help children understand why we have to discipline them.
Discipline With Love.
Discipline with love should always be used when a loved one or indeed when the “self”, is not acting in a healthy or appropriate way.
When self or a child, is acting against what is best for them a little discipline and an explanation can go a long way. An explanation can help ease a child into appropriate behavior. Similarly, self awareness can help change our own behavior if we are not happy with our actions.
Difference between wants and needs.
Sometimes little ones and even we, as adults, don’t recognize the difference between wants and needs. We all need to learn what the difference is. The difference looks like this, I need to eat to sustain my life, however, I want cheesecake because it’s so yummy. A toddler needs to be held in loving arms. However, when he wants to be held 24/7 he cannot learn independence. Because, the toddler is constantly being held, he cannot learn to console himself. At that age there is no understanding that he will be okay, even if he is alone for a little while.
Similarly, the toddler wants to eat sweeties all day long. He doesn’t know the difference. All he knows is how yummy they are, and how much he wants them. The easy way out of this, is to not introduce the sweeties to him in the first place. But we all know it isn’t a healthy choice for our little ones. However, if it’s too late, then remove them from the home.
We are Adults who Need to be Responsible
Besides, we are the adults who need to be responsible. It is our responsibility teach the child to eat healthier food, he can’t know that for himself. We must discipline the child in order to break the habit. At this level, communication is impossible. When we are dealing with older children we can explain at their level of understanding. You can be an example to them by not eating sweeties yourself. So, be kind, use love to discipline, be compassionate, and understanding. Please teach, in a patient, loving manner. It is essential, especially since little children are involved.
Wants are not Usually Essential for Sustaining Life.
Wants are not usually essential for sustaining life. However, wants can sometimes seem endless, and are not always easy to deal with. Needs are things we must have to sustain a healthy existence. We are more able to satiate our needs, because they are somewhat limited. Children tend to take a long time to understand the difference between a want and a need. Therefore, it is up to you, the adult, to teach them the best way you can. Younger children only understand the I wants in life. We are unable to teach tis to younger children because, they cannot comprehend it. But there comes a time when they will understand, and it is up to us to teach them.
Obviously you cannot teach this with words. You teach by not giving them everything they want. The only discipline required is to say no, and offering a replacement. As children grow a little older they will understand that there are limits to what they can have. Likewise, there are things they cannot do. Please teach them in a patient, loving manner.
I understand from my own experiences, that this can be the most difficult task in the world. It was tough to make my little boys go to sleep on their own. They eventually grew to understand that, even though they couldn’t see me, I was always close by. Therefore, they quickly learned to fall asleep in peacefulness and feeling safe and secure. My babies were so young, I hated having to let them cry in order for them to learn that they were okay. This was my responsibility and I understood that I had to discipline with love.
” Parents must get across the idea that ” I love you always, but sometimes I do not love your behavior.
Amy Vanderbilt